@Cheeseboy22: Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
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@LindaInDisguise: Me: I'm completely lost. What's going on in this movie? Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record.
@SamGrittner: I want to become a librarian so bad. I love books but I love telling people to shut up even more.
@smilely_gal: 5 missed calls from my mom. Frantically called her back, expecting tragedy; nope, wallets are on sale at Kohl's.