@Cheeseboy22: Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
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@TheHyyyype: [creation of insects] LIGHTNING BUG: I will illuminate the night BEE: I will pollinate flowers FLY: I will eat shit and die
@Brampersandon_: [Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don't you come join me? [Lobster]: No I'm good over here. That's how my dad died.
@SuperJuanderer: If a spider attacks you, you should play dead. No, wait... that's for a bear. If a spider attacks a bear, you should play dead.
@markedly: To the 4 people today who tried to prank me and failed, eat it jerks. To the 13 who succeeded, guys can u pls delete the photos of me crying