@maebemarbles: Not one person is cooler than the pigeon that just walked all the way into this Mexican restaurant, gently picked up a taco chip, and left.
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@sammyj_04: What's it called when it's 9:20am and you can't wait for dinner? Oh, it's called fat. Nevermind.
@_davidlucas_: Me: How are you? Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*
@bea_ker: "Did you guys see me get so mad I flipped a table?" Yes Tony, we saw it. You're 46. You have to stop taking your skateboard to restaurants.