@LurkAtHomeMom: Not saying I deserve a gold medal in parenting, but it's 4:47 PM and my 4yo just yelled "FINE THEN, I'M GOING TO BED!" So you be the judge.
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@esuwalker: I feel more comfortable in your arms than anywhere else ❤ ~Conversations I have with my couch
@robyn_vo: Dad: HEY come here, did you go to school with this guy on tv? Me: Dad, that's Spongebob Squarepants Dad: Must've been in your sister's class
@brynnester: [Flight] Cabin Crew: The pilot & co are dead. Is there anyone on board who can fly the plane? Harrison Ford: I can CC: Anyone else at all?
@jake_likes_naps: [at bar] Gee, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse *nearby horse slams down his whisky* COME ON THEN TOUGH GUY *horse throws the 1st punch*