@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Not saying you're shady but there is a family of squirrels gathered around your ankles.
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@AnOrangeSNES: "Jesus take the wheel!" I shout, but Jesus decided to pop out of the sunroof firing a machine gun at our pursuers instead.
@jordan_stratton: Just once, I'd like to sleep as deeply as a cartoon sheriff whose keys are dangling seductively from his belt.
@Book_Krazy: Her: OMG you're alive!!! I heard you bought the farm! ME: No no, I bought "a" farm. HER: but I told everyone you're dead! ME: That's fine