@SCbchbum: Not sure, but I think I just got to 3rd base with my toothbrush.
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@bobvulfov: (staying in on a friday night) this is depressing and lonely (at a bar on a friday night) oh wow i hate this more
@scarebro: My girlfriend broke up with me because she and I had different opinions. My opinion was that I was worth dating.
@myonlymizztake: When you said you wanted to show me a stiff one, I had no idea you worked in a morgue.