@SCbchbum: Not sure, but I think I just got to 3rd base with my toothbrush.
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@notacroc: TIM: how are you? ME: it's Monday TIM: yeah ME: the sun is up TIM: are u just listing facts? ME: lettuce is a member of the sunflower family
@M_Hedberg: People think stage diving is dangerous, but not me. Because humans are made out of 95% water. So the audience is 5% away from being a pool.
@mydanimarie: Guns don't kill people. Girls who get tagged in a photo before they get a chance to see it kill people.