@SCbchbum: Not sure, but I think I just got to 3rd base with my toothbrush.
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@topaz_kell: "Your bathroom has better lighting for selfies" wasn't a good enough excuse for my surprised neighbor getting out of the shower. So uptight.
@beefman138: I have done about 300 crunches for my new exercise routine. 299 of them are Nestlé.
@deardilettante: If I were Cinderella, I wouldn't have settled for a guy who couldn't even remember what my face looked like.