@SCbchbum: Not sure, but I think I just got to 3rd base with my toothbrush.
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@RorynotRoy: I respect how the Hamburglar was like, "Hey, I know I'm at rock bottom here, but I'm going to be professional about it and wear a tie."
@PaperWash: cashier: whoa 58 boxes of Mac and Cheese, having a party tonight? me: Cashier: me: Cashier: me: sure
@soccerskiingmom: If any Americans still feel like emigrating to Canada, can you please bring up some Thanksgiving leftovers?
@jwoodham: Forrest Gump ran for 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days, which is approximately 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days longer than I've ever run.