@WilliamAder: Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
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@hardlyrelevant: Me: (from the back of the ambulance) CHANGE THE RADIO Medic: Sir you need to conserve your strength Me: I AM NOT DYING TO A COLDPLAY SONG
@SteveSuckington: "Expose yourself to Art" they said "Art will tase you and call the cops on you" they didn't say
@jonnysun: 4 out of 5 dentists agree u should not be going to 5 diferent dentists. it is important to have one dentist who knows ur dental history
@Probgoblin: I run down a hospital corridor, clutching the mustard dispenser I liberated from the cafeteria. Earlier I had a plan. Now I have mustard.