@HallpassCanada: Not sure if i should be proud of this or not, but our employee handbook had 37 new rules added since i started working here.
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@StarWarsProblms: [at the shooting range] Recruit: Sir, I missed every target. Officer: Perfect. *makes him a stormtrooper*
@thatUPSdude: Turns out HR doesn't care if it's national underwear day, you have to wear pants to work.
@robfee: Everyone in horror movies: *loud scream* It was probably just the wind *a ghost flies across room* Just the wind *dog gets cut in half* Wind
@SaraMansford: If a guy tells you he makes 6 figures a year it doesn't necessarily mean he's rich. He could be a really lazy guy working at a toy factory.