@o__0Dev: Not sure if I want buns of steel, or buns of cinnamon.
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@ibid78: Rookie cop: "But sir, why would man's laughter be a crime?" Chief: "ffs kid, it's one word. Manslaughter."
@ShortSleeveSuit: [working at prison coffee shop] I walk up to the biggest guy in there & punch his loyalty card bc repeat customers are crucial to business
@matt___nelson: [interrogation] Where were you last night? "Out killing people" Louder for the tape [leans in] "The Cheesecake Factory, that's where I was"