@That_Damn_Duck: If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
@ArfMeasures: [Bank]
ROBBER: Look, as long as everyone is cool, no-one will die
*I walk in*
ROBBER [picks up gun] well, guess what, everyone
@badbanana: Donald Trump says he'll open up secret 9/11 files. Miley Cyrus says she'll flee the country if Trump is elected. Connect the dots, people.
@trentistweeting: "Hey Iron Man, how'd you get your powers?"
*flashes back to tony stark being bitten by a radioactive ironing board*
@girlontapas: I hate it when I want wine and the wine home delivery man hasn't been invented yet.
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