@LaniBeno: Not sure if I washed the spider down the drain in my shower or if he took one look at me naked and then leapt willingly to his death.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@behindyourback: "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I did those things online"
@WheelTod: I failed a history exam, stood-up my girlfriend and accidentally bought a packet of figs today because I'm terrible with dates.
@jordan_stratton: Whelp. It's December. That time of year when I have zero excuse for being so sweaty.
@yaboybillnye: SCIENCE FACT: if you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.