@NotthatAdamWest: Not sure what my dog thinks I do all day, but based on her excitement when I get home she apparently lives in constant fear I'll be murdered
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@better_off_dad: Life is like a Rubik's Cube It may look like a jumbled mess at first, but in the end it will make you want to beat the shit out of someone.
@BoozeWallet: I point my gun at the bank teller and order him to fill my bag with cash but he struggles because the bag is already full of tacos.
@SoulYodeler: POLLY GETS A CRACKER WHEN HE STOPS REFERRING TO HIMSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON, and not a moment before. Stupid bird.
@WineMummy: Sorry I had sex with your hot gardener, but in my defense, you did say that I needed Jesus in me.