@NotthatAdamWest: Not sure what my dog thinks I do all day, but based on her excitement when I get home she apparently lives in constant fear I'll be murdered
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@TheMichaelRock: What's up with these people in Pakistan getting stoned to death? What kind of weed are they growing there?
@MeetingBoy: I've counted 8 people so far whose New Years resolutions include "loose weight". Can I add spelling to your list too?
@jordan_stratton: If you think January has been a big month for marches, you're gonna lose your mind when you hear what the 3rd month of the year is called.
@discountzen: I told my husband that instead of leaving his dirty dishes on the counter, he should leave them in 1952 so a nice housewife cleans them up.