@NotthatAdamWest: Not sure what my dog thinks I do all day, but based on her excitement when I get home she apparently lives in constant fear I'll be murdered
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@cbdoubleu: [Going through rubble after a house fire] Her [holding photo albums]: Totally ruined. Me [holding slices of bread]: Pretty much toast.
@HTownHarold: Just killed a cricket at work, and, long story short, I'm now being asked to audition for Riverdance.