@_youhadonejob: Not the best name for an apple employee.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@aksorojas: I'm scared of buying an iPhone X cos there's a chance mine might get swapped with Brad Pitt's and since we look 100% alike he can unlock it
@thepatrickwalsh: "Be there in 5," I text, though I am 30 minutes away, completely nude, and engaged in a fist fight with a neighbor.
@1Happytwit: I don't know why they invite me to an Easter egg hunt, then freak out when I turn up in camo gear with my rifle.
@david8hughes: [last supper] "Tonight, one of you will betray me for 20 pieces of silver." "30." "Sorry Judas?" [sips wine] "I didn't say anything."