@_youhadonejob: Not the best name for an apple employee.
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@SuperRandomish: Coworker: "How'd you get that cut above your eye?" Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"
@wolfpupy: i argued with the parrot at the pet store until it got sold away and the guy who bought it wouldnt let me in his car. that means i won
@Pirate_nurse: It's 6 am and I've already referred to a patient as "the one with the tig ol biddies"...wonder what time HR gets here
@truegritrumble: HER: Impress me. ME: I own a record label- HER: Ooooooo ME: er. A record labelER. It makes labels for my Abba vinyls.