@senderblock23: Not to 1up you but *drops green mushroom on your head*
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@sofarrsogud: ME: Yeah, I've heard that movie. FRIEND: You mean 'seen' that movie. ME: Ha ha. No! I'm on twitter. I haven't seen a movie in 3 years.
@EddieHarris216: *steals a Lexus on Christmas Eve * *parks it in a random driveway with a giant bow on top*
@Lisa_Laughs_: Me: I can't work today. Boss: Why? M: My grandma died. B: Our grandmas died 20 yrs ago. M: ... -Why working for your brother is a bad idea.