@TheBoydP: Not to brag but a girl at this party said I look like the Hulk, of course it was when I was turning green from drinking too much, but still…
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@TheMichaelRock: Our laundry room flooded because an apple chunk clogged the washer hose. Go ahead, have kids. They have pocket apples.
@ADDiane: Cats can use their whiskers to navigate in the dark. I use my toes. And shins. And lots of cursing.
@daemonic3: I'm going to run errands, need anything? "Yes, some new light bulbs" Why, our current bulbs are too heavy? "And a good divorce lawyer"