@TheRolo: Not to brag, but a news anchor started following me today. She recognizes a disaster when she sees one.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@IAmKatieOrr: I hope my childhood BFF forgot that silly pact we made at five to kill each other if we hadn't become ponies by 2015. She was really dark.
@gneicco: Great. Ban gay marriage. Remember what happened during Prohibition? Now we're going to have everyone making bathtub gay marriages.
@retniw_nuf: I wear my wedding ring everyday so I know my right hand from my left hand, incase the man of my dreams asks me for directions.
@noog: Welcome to Starbucks how may I help you? "Regular coffee with cream please" That's $40, 5ml of unicorn tears, and 10 dragon scales. "TEN?"