@mattgallo123: Not to brag, but according to this food packaging I just ate enough fancy cashews to serve 638 people.
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@Amusitr0n: Alien Archeologist: this human was buried covered in chicken bones, we theorize he believed in a poultry afterlife. Me: (25,000 years earlier, climbing into a KFC dumpster in the dead of night)
@weismanjake: One of the toughest parts of adulthood is figuring out how to stay friends with people who post too many selfies
@McGrumpenstein: Noah, surrounded by a million pieces & trying to make sense of his IKEA Arke pictogram instructions, feels the first drop of rain. Shit.