@dafloydsta: Not to brag, but I always go to the hottest cashier at the store and she always checks me out.
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@brennadine: OUCH I HAVE A FOOT CRAMP You're dehydrated [Walks on toes] Drink some water [Crawls on knees] Drink water [Lays on floor] Water- [Dies]
@Roweboat13G: For a good party trick, drill a hole in the top of your medicine cabinet and fill it with marbles before you invite people over.
@DopeyTweeter: Me: Your baby looks funny. Her: That's my dog. M: Yeah.. uh huh. H: ... M: I'd tell everyone it was my dog too if my baby looked like that.