@dafloydsta: Not to brag, but I always go to the hottest cashier at the store and she always checks me out.
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@imchriskelly: At grandma's. Which means this morning I woke up at 8:45am and was still greeted with, "Look who's finally up. We thought you were dead!"
@iGreenMonk: Just waved back at someone at the gym who was waving at the person behind me and now I'm looking for a new gym.
@HughGoesThere: [first date] me: so, what's your biggest fear? her: snakes. i hate snakes me: (whispering to the mongoose in my vest pocket): she's the one