@Jazzzzzmina: Not to brag, but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
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@clyderun: The ex hasn't moved out yet. To make her uncomfortable I left a new box of condoms out on the table. She retaliated with a pregnancy kit.
@10InchesPlus: Not sure if you'll like golf? Walk on a treadmill for four hours under a sun lamp then throw away $75 when you're done.
@Home_Halfway: "Let's do 5 sets of squats & then try lifting for an hour. It looks like you got out of shape after your dad died" ~ Really personal trainer
@YoungNobler: These e-cigarettes keep getting bigger and bigger. I swear I just saw someone smoking a clarinet.