@Jazzzzzmina: Not to brag, but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: [trapped in the trunk of a car] him: hey what’s up me: *forgets why I called* lol not much
@robwhisman: ageism fascinates me because it's the only ism with this built-in inevitable irony. like, no racist gradually changes into a hispanic
@jonnysun: first rule of fight club is no fightig. welcom to contradicton club evryone hav a seat adn dont hav a seat. also this isnt contradicton club
@kumailn: If I had a time machine I'd go back 10 years and tell myself "Write down the names of all the people you loan stuff to."