@Jazzzzzmina: Not to brag, but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
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@Brampersandon_: *tightens straps on electric chair* Any last words? -I think male oysters should be called boysters Omg will someone throw the damn switch
@1followernodad: Fun prank: ONLY explain gay marriage to your kids and then watch other people try to explain their weird straight marriages.
@DCpierson: I'm a Lit major. I did my thesis on why my car is in the front yard and I'm sleeping with my clothes on.
@travisauruss: I think the closest I've come to playing romantic music at a girl's window is when I forgot to turn down "Eye Of The Tiger" at the drivethru