@tigersgoroooar: Not to brag, but I just bought Eggland's best eggs from the grocery store. Their BEST eggs. I got them.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: 3: *throws plate in sink Me: but you barely ate! 3: yeah, I'm full...what are you eating? Me: the same thing you had 3: can I have a bite?
@maurex23: "I like Trump because he isn't a politician." Right, because whenever my toilet breaks I call my electrician.
@OneFunnyMummy: Real women don't wish their enemies would die, just that they'll get fat.
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