@lildandeli0n: Be the reason they create new laws.

@jordan_stratton: *makes eye contact with beautiful woman across fancy restaurant* Waiter, send that woman a glass of your finest Sprite.

@Thynebear: *cop approaches me* "have u seen this girl?" *holds up photo* "yeah I've seen her, NAKED" *hi-5* "haha but seriously shes in my trunk"

@spicy_peen: *Makes piñatas that look like people's exes *Retires a billionaire

@ElgatoEsmio: how do you get over the heartache of an ex whose cat ur never gonna see again?