@heidi420x: Not to brag, but I parallel parked without hitting anything, taking 15 mins, or winding up on the sidewalk. No cars were around, but still.
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@kelkulus: My office got a shredder, so now I have to buy a turtle costume to fight it on Monday. Work is hard.
@ElgatoEsmio: At the state fair I realized none of my troubles matter when you dip them in batter
@DJRotaryRachel: A miracle birth, then resurrection. Accept Frosty the Snowman as your personal savior.