@robfee: Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AndyAsAdjective: [at oceanside seafood restaurant] Me: Is the fish fresh here? Waiter: Yes *from the kitchen, a fish blows me a kiss & waves seductively*
@Dutch_50: I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it.
@briangaar: Girl can I ask you a question *gets down on one knee* would you like to make $8,000 a week working from home
@murrman5: [family hears me pull in driveway] wife: please don't wrestling announcer: sorry ma'am he already paid me. NOW ENTERING THE HOUSE FROM WORK