@robfee: Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
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@flashember: TRANSLATORS: we're done, sire. 7 years. Every last word painstakingly translated into English. KING JAMES I: call it the King James Bible
@danagould: I was having a political fight with someone on Twitter while my dog was out back barking at the wind. Then we switched.
@ShutUpThatsWho: ME: gimme a double BARMAN: [places an exact replica of me on the bar] ME: no I meant a double Scotch BARMAN: [puts a kilt on my replica]