@robfee: Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
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@Tmoney68: Apparently, it's "bad manners" to stare at a female coworker for 30 seconds, then ask if she's self-conscious about her hair.
@xmasape: If Michaels doesn't come strong with a "Hobby Lobby supports ISIS" campaign then they're just not ruthless enough to survive in Big Craft
@conanobrienswyf: Clapping was invented by white people at concerts, because we have no idea what to do with our hands when we dance.
@iRowlf: My girlfriend thinks that I can't cook, but as soon as I figure out how much Play-Doh is supposed to go in meatloaf, I'll prove her wrong.