@KevinFarzad: Not to brag but my bank says I have an outstanding balance.
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@juliussharpe: SiriusXM is broadcasting NASCAR because there's nothing more exciting than listening to people drive.
@BigFatNothing: (in a rowboat with 6 starving people) "I think you mean "WHOM should we eat first"
@backporchlady: My black pants had more cat hair on them after they came out of the dryer. Guess I should check the dryer for cats before I start it.