@KevinFarzad: Not to brag but my bank says I have an outstanding balance.
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@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: My favorite movie is Zoolander, how bout u? ME: OMG SAME HER: What part's ur fave? ME: Um [sweating] when he lands a zoo
@ShutUpThatsWho: [first date] OK don't let her know you're a snail Waiter: Would you like some salt? [flips table over] OH HELL NO [bolts out real slowly]
@imence2: In RL I'm a car salesman. Which means its my job to know how many bodies fit in the trunk of a car officer. This is all work related.
@MollySneed: "I'm glad you're so normal. It's refreshing." "That's me- totally normal!" *waves off mariachi band waiting in the wings*