@tigersgoroooar: not to get all political on here but i'm pretty sure strawberry and blueberry pop-tarts taste exactly the same.
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@SteveKoehler22: Staples is attempting a hostile takeover of its rival Office Depot. Office Depot has retaliated by snapping rubber bands at Staples.
@pixelatedboat: Ronald McDonald kills millions of cows and he's the world's most beloved clown, but I butcher one and I "ruined your son's birthday party"?
@Vodkantots: [to other patients in psychiatrist's waiting room] I'm not like you people. This is court mandated.
@eye_spyder: You hear about that roman ruler who found the fountain of youth? Emperor constant teen.