@tigersgoroooar: not to get all political on here but i'm pretty sure strawberry and blueberry pop-tarts taste exactly the same.
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@wittwitbarista: I hate it when my 4th grader doesn’t get an 100% on her school project. I mean, I really worked on it.
@Playing_Dad: [Job interview] Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off the bus? Interviewer: Holy shit
@underrateDad: My super power is picking up all the laundry in one arm then bending over for 5 minutes picking up that one sock that keeps falling out.