@piranhapanorama: Not to get too technical, but chemistry says alcohol IS a solution. So I win.
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@OutOnTheMoors: "Comedians" don't RT because? A. Their tweets are pure gold. B. This is just a joke-tryout site. C. They know we're all funnier than them.
@Smethanie: The Macarena began playing through the dental office speakers as I lied helpless with the hygienist's hands in my mouth today. #survivor