@Jennuflect: Not tryin' to brag, but my sex life is like a dormant volcano. It was fiery, but now it's inactive. Also, I killed a bunch of villagers.
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@dance_blessed: I got this "breathe" tattoo because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder.
@Brampersandon_: *catches son swearing through sign language* "We don't use that language in this house" *hands him hand sanitizer* "You know what to do"