@Coolisiana: I bet nobody noticed Superman flying around at first, so Clark just started pointing out every bird and plane until it caught on

@TheToddWilliams: FRIEND: What's your favorite underground band? ME: Hmm...The Beatles FRIEND: They're not really considered underground ME: Half of them are

@John_M15: Saw an article on Facebook that a local bank was robbed. It had one like. They should probably look at that person as the robbery suspect.

@anagramps: *hot lady looks at me* Me: Hi! Do I know you? Lady: No I think I'm mistaken. *awkward pause* Me: So...is there a mister taken? *hit by bus*

@shariv67: God grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I will not read.