@OreoSpeedwagon_: Note to self: hairspray does not kill spiders; it merely increases their strength and makes them look flawless all day.
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@mrjohndarby: *releases swarm of killer wasps* - ATTACK! *wasps fly off harmlessly in all directions* - Hmm... time for plan bee
@Mike_Bianchi: To save money, instead of going to the club, I just get drunk at home and yell "what?" into a mirror over and over.
@Marlebean: Friend zone?! I've been sister zoned! And if one more dude pats me on the head, I'm telling mom!!