@OreoSpeedwagon_: Note to self: hairspray does not kill spiders; it merely increases their strength and makes them look flawless all day.
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@perfect_messs: [during sex] Him, referring to my Spanx: Don't you want to take those off first? Me: It took me 3 hrs to get these on. This is my skin now.
@SteveKoehler22: Ladies : Who's the man who, with just the slightest touch- gives you chills and makes you tremble with anticipation ? Your dentist.