@jordan_stratton: Note to Self: In future interviews, don't say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mikecanrant: I accidentally earned a 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do the last time a bee flew near my face.
@iwearaonesie: [Bar] me: Gimme one more wife: I think you've had enough m: Last one w: Fine m: *asks waitress for another kids menu so I can do the maze*
@DumbConfessions: Jesus: "Is it time for the second coming yet dad?" God: "I'll just give Kanye the Holy Spirit. Already thinks he's me." Both: "LOLOLOLOL"