@jordan_stratton: Note to Self: In future interviews, don't say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
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@FrazzleMyGimp: ROOMBA: I pick up anything ME: [throwing it my car keys] Great, my kids are done with school at 3:30 ROOMBA: No wait- [45 minutes later] ROOMBA: You learn anything new today?
@angibangie: *Husband buys me flowers* Me: Aw sweet, but don't waste money on things that are going to die. Him: But you keep buying the cat food.
@Just_Beachy72: I’m at the age I need all the beauty sleep I can get. So naturally I’m not able to sleep.