@jordan_stratton: Note to Self: In future interviews, don't say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KeetPotato: [at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? "yeah" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?
@Carbosly: Want to get rid of your boyfriend without killing him? Send him to the grocery store for water chestnuts. Mine has been gone 5 months.
@KalvinMacleod: Me: Can I pet your dog? Stranger: sure M: one more time S: uh, ok M: again S: maybe you should get your own M: pet S: we have to go M: mine