@jordan_stratton: Note to Self: In future interviews, don't say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
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@bencoffeehall: I joined a Cold War reenactment group. We just sit around and act nervous about the USSR.
@omgthatspunny: what do you call a fish with no eyes?? fsh
@AimeeHelene1: My diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can't stuff your face when you're sleeping.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: I did laundry for 7 miles according to my Fitbit that I accidentally washed and dried.
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