@marcia_bee: Note to self: "rubber" in the US does NOT mean "eraser". Bright side: my popularity in this office is at an all time high!
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@PinkCamoTO: H: So what's the worst thing you've ever seen someone do? Me: I watched a mother buy her son a harmonica.
@HelloJessicaFox: (My romance novel) “You have a pretty face,” he said. “Thank you,” she said, lifting up her bangs. “I’ve got even more face under here.”
@internetluke: A modern recasting of Moses floating down a river in a wicker basket but it's a soccer mom forgetting her baby on the roof of her van.