@weinerdog4life: Note to self: Take Mila Kunis picture off of vacuum before taking it in for service next time.
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@MelKassel: *night falls, the full moon rises* ME: go, please! i don't want you to see me...like...this HIM: omg what's happening ME: *asleep by 10 pm*
@shawn_spree: My son does this cute thing where he installs games on my phone and then for weeks I get notifications that my village is under attack.
@WheelTod: Major milestone today -- found my first grey pubic hair! But once I picked it out, the burger tasted pretty decent.