@Spaced_Cowboy00: Nothing brings a family closer at graduation than a flask.
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@Tmoney68: BREAKING: Justin Bieber expresses interest in being baptized. Over 4 million people volunteer to hold his head under water.
@agathagotstoned: The plane starts going down. I say, "If we die, know that hat is hideous". We all survive. Great Aunt Mildred hasn't spoken to me since.
@SoulYodeler: It takes a big man to admit his mistakes. It takes a bigger man to fix them. It takes an enormous man to close down a Chinese buffet. High-5