@Slightly_Savage: Nothing good can come out of answering your landline.
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@sofarrsogud: SON: *in James Bond costume* Look Daddy, I'm a spy! ME: Well if that's how you introduce yourself, you're a really shit one.
@TheRealNickKay: [DEATH ROW] WARDEN: Last meal? CON: Just a glass of lemonade please *Drinks lemonade/Burps* WARDEN: Pardon [CON WALKS FREE] W: SHIT
@o__0Dev: It took years for my gf to get me to put down the toilet seat. Though, I really don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place.