@Slightly_Savage: Nothing good can come out of answering your landline.
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@jwoodham: American cheese is just regular cheese that's not afraid to fight for freedom! Also, it's fatter than the other cheeses. And more racist.
@DaddyJew: 8: I want the new iPhone Me: you've never had a phone so you have to start with one of these 8: what's this? Me: 2 cans and a string
@3sunzzz: [text] H: I'm at Lowes, how wide is the door frame? M: I measured, it's 35 and then 3 little lines after a big long line.