@MissBamantha: Nothing in the history of the English language has backfired more than the phrase "calm down."
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@PaperWash: *Signs into Facebook "If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" is posted everywhere *Agrees *Deletes Facebook
@KKAlThani: David Beckham says he will retire at the end of this season, mainly because he ran out of ideas on how to do his next haircut.
@pizza_dragon: Pony: "I love hay so much I-" Dad: "Why don't you marry it, ya big nerd?" *pony grows up* *becomes Horse Emperor* *legalizes hay marriage*
@TheToddWilliams: [creation] GOD: You will each have a flaw BAT: I am blind SNAKE: I am deaf DOG: My breath is a little bad