@KateWhineHall: Nothing is better than working out to 80s music. Except listening to 80s music without working out.
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@Mr_Kapowski: "Will you marry me?" "The cookie was poison" "The lotto numbers will never win" Examples of why I got fired from writing fortune cookies
@AndyAsAdjective: HER: I still think you made up that word just so you could win at Scrabble ME: that's ridictacular
@novicefather: My wife said that if I lose my job, she's divorcing me. So I need suggestions here, people. What are some terminable offenses these days?
@MrPudmansButler: If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe's poker table you're too mature for me.