@SadPeruna: Nothing is creepier than watching someone hula hoop with a serious look on their face.
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@stephenjmolloy: Mafia boss: "I want him swimming with the fishes!" *later at the coral reef* Me: "This is amazing!" Mafia boss: "Anything for you."
@bobvulfov: [funeral] WIDOW: i—i just cant believe he's gone ME: hey [putting my hand on her shoulder] u parked ur car directly behind mine so im stuck
@Home_Halfway: Raccoons wearing tiny little glasses, digging through trash and carefully reading nutritional information of any food items they find.