@SadPeruna: Nothing is creepier than watching someone hula hoop with a serious look on their face.
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@TheHoyBoy_: When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors
@DaddyJew: Her: have you had the sex talk with our son yet? Me: *looks over at son wearing crocs* I think we can wait a few years
@ericsshadow: As a kid I thought a lot about growing up, getting a job and having kids, but not this job and certainly not these kids.
@EricMarten: It must have been really strange for Jesus to be the only white guy in the entire Middle East.