@jonnysun: nothing is funny anymore becuase nothing is normal anymore. i saw a pigeon on the subway today and thought "how did a pigeon make $2.75"
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@NYC_Blonde: Me: The salad with chicken, cheese and can you put it between slices of bread? Waiter: So a sandwich? Me: I'd prefer if we called it a salad
@envydatropic: I'm at the age where "pop, lock, and drop" is about my knee giving out instead of dance moves
@AristotlesNZ: My psychiatrist says we need to work on my intimacy issues but then he's always the one who refuses to snuggle with me on his couch.
@Doyle_McLain: BREAKING NEWS ON FACEBOOK! Pam wants everyone to know what a great husband Don has been these last 8 years & for making her so very happy!