@Hey_Sascha: Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord.
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@SuperRandomish: Coworker: "How'd you get that cut above your eye?" Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"
@TheHyyyype: [philosophy class] PROFESSOR: u must question everything [later] ME: *grabs lamp and shakes it* what have u been doing all day?!
@angibangie: Him: I love nerd girls Me: Cool! Did you know the human body can't feel water, only a change in temperature? Him: no. not like that.