@Hey_Sascha: Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord.
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@hunz74: A scientist said that fish will evolve into "flish" & will be able to fly. Now I can't stop thinking about "flarks, flhales & flea horses."
@dshack8: "Well, I guess I'll stagger around, speak gibberish, & touch all the shit I'm not supposed to while you get irritated." Drunks & toddlers.
@TuSoonShakur: Jeez, try to cash in the “one free back rub” coupon your high school girlfriend gave you on your 15th birthday and her husband gets all apoplectic. There was no expiration date, Carl.
@Lisabug74: My mom sometimes texts me pictures of Buddha with an inspirational text like: "Be kind to others, Evil Lisa"