@Hey_Sascha: Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SortaBad: Manny Pacquiao says he would accept a rematch with Floyd Mayweather. "Yes, I will allow you to pay me another $100 million," he told sources
@themiltron: god: behold, my creatio-- people: some rocks are more important than others god: what? people: i would literally kill for the yellow rock
@AristotlesNZ: Me: I said no cookies! 4yo: I forgot. Maybe I have amnesia! Me: How'd you get amnesia? 4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played..
@UncleDuke1969: Waitress: Is this your grandma? Me: My wife. Waitress: ... Me: ... Waitress: I am SO sorry. *walks away* Grandma: Nice one. High five!