@OhNoSheTwitnt: Nothing like an 8:00 meeting on a Monday morning to remind you that your best years are behind you.
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@Love_bug1016: Santa read your DMs. The only thing you're getting for Christmas is a prayer group on Facebook.
@SortaBad: Me: hi :) Woman at bar: it's loud in here, I'm sorry, did you just say "colon closed parentheses" ???
@Home_Halfway: ME: 50 Cent has to clone himself to be able to go to the Dollar Store. DATE: Do you ever listen to yourself
@shutupmay: Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers right now. Nothing is going on, I'm just a narcissist.