@junejuly12: Nothing like sitting on a chair at your kid's school to inspire you to never eat cookies again.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@djdarrellripley: My mom has a rule that we do nothing on Christmas that Jesus didn't do. Apparently, Jesus drank a pitcher of martinis & hit on the caterer..
@matt_travelling: Two things Twitter cultivates and encourages: 1. instant gratification 2. sense of impatient entitlement 3. misunderstanding of basic math
@mattgallo123: Plastic silverware: because the only thing I hate more than poisoning the environment is washing dishes.