@anotherbecky429: Nothing like the dreaded "Mom I missed the bus" text to get you up and moving.
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@murrman5: since you're having surgery tomorrow, get here early and remember no eating after midnight "because of nausea?" no, because you're a gremlin
@gerryhallcomedy: Cop: Sir, you can't use hand-held communication devices while driving Me: [trying to hide ouija board] What are you talking about?
@weinerdog4life: Other kids wanted to be astronauts or doctors, when I was little I wanted to be a horse calendar
@Angrea: I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs...But I totally trust a dog when it doesn't like a person.