@Lexactly: Nothing makes a friendship more awkward than saying "Cute doggie" and realizing it's their kid
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@1Happytwit: Some bloke on FB called me a clown. Now I've got to go hide under his bed with a knife cause that's what clowns do.
@LostFelicia: I took my dad to the gym with me today. The man clocks a mile on the treadmill before I could hit the Start button. I'm not taking him with me again.