@Lexactly: Nothing makes a friendship more awkward than saying "Cute doggie" and realizing it's their kid
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@slimmy_shady: Co-worker: My husband & I are praying for a baby. Me: You know that's not how you get 1, right? You gotta have sex. What does HR want now?
@brennadine: Cinderella taught me that everything will work out just fine so long as you have unconscionably small feet.
@MandiAtRandom: *takes enough Xanax for an army* I have a killer headache CW: *hands me 5 Advil* Woah there brother I'm not about to OD here, 2 will do