@AimeeHelene1: Nothing makes me feel more "white collar" than when I'm nodding my head at someone pointing to a line graph that I know nothing about.
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@DanLaMorte: I was on a date with a girl and she said "did you notice my finger nails?" And I was like "yes" and she was like "well I have no arms"
@Darlainky: You have 6 marijuana plants under a heat lamp in your basement. Please stop calling yourself a farmer.
@WheelTod: A great summer prank is to park your car just outside the mall with a fully cooked ham in baby clothes strapped into a child seat.
@katy_baybay: I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through Columbia behind a donkey.