@CheryeDavis: Nothing makes me more proud of my son's sense of humor, than when he asks me for help with his algebra homework.
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@GrowlyGrego: Next time during church, stand up and ask your pastor "Have you ever turned down heroin?" Both Yes and No are equally entertaining answers.
@KalvinMacleod: [pearly gates] ANGEL: bad jokes are not allowed in heaven ME: ok ANGEL: that means absolutely no puns ME: abSOULutely *clouds turn to fire*
@bransonreese: The Ugly Duckling has the best moral: “everybody has to apologize to you if you get hot”
@looktothepickle: [One week into body training] Me: GOD this is taking so long Trainer: how long were you expecting? Me: ...how long is Eye of the Tiger?