@zwina_summer: Nothing makes me scream louder during sex than when my husband calls to let me know he's on his way home from work.
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@omically: "Gary give me the gun" "I thought you had it" "I TOLD you to bring it" "I didn't" "who brought the getaway car?" -Disorganized crime
@CerebralWreck: Lawyer: why do you want a divorce? Wife: because he use idioms incorrectly. Me: it's not my cup of shoes, Linda!
@Brianhopecomedy: How my 7 year old plays board games: Rolls a 6. Counts to 6. Moves his piece wherever he wants.