@zwina_summer: Nothing makes me scream louder during sex than when my husband calls to let me know he's on his way home from work.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iwearaonesie: me: Dave's coming over wife: Nice Dave or Dave who picked a fight with a kid named Cancer? *Dave walks in wearing an "I Beat Cancer" shirt*
@HysteriaBarbie: I like to put my passengers as ease by pointing out where all the airbags are. Ending the safety message with "Just in case I crash again"