@StellaGMaddox: Nothing makes me second-guess my language like a little voice chirping, "Mommy, I found your freaking measuring spoons."
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@bridger_w: It's Saturday night and I just saw a guy with a ponytail and tinted lenses. Somewhere, a tarantula is home alone
@DurtMcHurtt: Playing dodgeball with kids is harder than it looks cause you have to throw them with both hands.
@CopBroughtPizza: i just found that children's tylenol is made for children, not out of children, and i feel relieved. but that could just be the tylenol...