@topaz_kell: Nothing ruins a game of hide and seek like when the cops let the K9 off the leash.
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@TommyWallace: [Dad jokes anonymous] "...and I'm clean 30 days" Guy from back: HI CLEAN 3O DAYS I'M DAD "DAMN IT, JERRY!"
@Sickayduh: ME: *angrily dragging wife thru the mall* Maybe THIS jewelry store will have one. HER: I don't think you get what a tornado watch is.