@orny_xo: Nothing says authentic Chinese food like a neon "We Delivery" sign.
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@NikiWithIssues: I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help.
@michaelianblack: How come my wife can't hold her bladder for more than three hours but she can hold a grudge for fourteen years?
@MattMcGruff: Officer- I'm giving you a ticket for your speed Me- That's heroin Officer-... Me- Want some? Officer-... Me- Oooh, shiny handcuffs