@3sunzzz: Nothing says, "I have a lot of free time," more than someone eating a pomegranate.
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@zachreinert03: Got asked to be godfather of my niece, so if anything happens to her parents then someone else has to take care of her because I said no
@DanMentos: *runs into san francisco restaurant* THE KALE WASN'T LOCALLY SOURCED *sound of 100s of ubers smashing into each other outside restaurant*
@garyfromteenmom: [first date] ok dont let them know i stalked them online them: my aunt-- me: theresa or sharon
@ReaIRonSwanson: 24 astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the planet?