@Horse_ebooks: Nothing says "I m not interested" quite as loudly as showing up for a date
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@TheMichaelRock: Pregnant white women over 30 always buy the biggest SUV around, because you never know when you'll give birth to half of a baseball team.
@jimmy_sharpe: Something just came up on my computer asking if I trusted it, and now we're running away to start a new life together.
@NicestHippo: Funny how arguing works. We're all "You clearly disagree with me, so I will now repeat my point with steadily increasing levels of volume"
@CranalBeads: just when my neighbors think they know me, I sprint across their yard pushing a wheelbarrow full of hair