@PuckingItUp: Nothing says "I'm a shitty parent but at least I'm rich" like giving your 2 year old an iPad.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DirtMcTurd: [Weekend in NYC with my wife] Wife: Did you know Comicon is in NYC this weekend? Me walking out of bathroom in a Deadpool costume: No clue
@Dawn_M_: Just once I'd like the guy hired to kill me to complete the job and not fall in love with me.
@RidiculousSheri: *me looking at a police lineup* Number 3 is cute. OMG Is he single? Give him my number! What? Oh. Right. Five. Number 5 killed my grandpa.
@djdarrellripley: Her: You know, alot of men are going to be miserable when I marry. Me: Well how many men do you plan to marry?