@Baldylockzzz: Nothing says " My divorce didn't go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars
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@RandomRamblr: [Sunday morning] *congregation of Catholics disagrees with priest and walks out of church* - mass unfollowing
@ProudFFAalumni: woke up just in time to push my cat off the bed before he threw up. today is going to be magical.
@TheCatWhisprer: Starting a diet is a lot like starting a lawn mower, you struggle and sweat and end up on the couch eating ice cream with your shirt off.