@Baldylockzzz: Nothing says " My divorce didn't go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars
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@KeetPotato: drummer: "just add er on the end of your instrument" guy who plays trumpet: "so im a trumpeter, ok cool" guy who plays trombone: "oh no"
@Bandersnaaatch: Mommy, I wrote some notes down in my diarrhea. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary.
@andsarah2: I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision.