@Baldylockzzz: Nothing says " My divorce didn't go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars
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@moose_chocolate: How come "you're a peach" is a complement but "you're bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
@T_Bonezzz: Thanks, motion sensor restroom sinks, I only wanted to wash my hands for 0.0000251 seconds anyway
@Brianhopecomedy: If I applied for a job at the Vatican & they asked for my references I'd say, "Contact Him" while pointing up. HOW COULD I NOT GET THE JOB.